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17 March 2003 @ 01:09 pm
Flying out tomorrow  
This trip is starting to feel real for me. Tangible.

I'm not afraid or worried, or even excited. It's just a certain ... tension. Intensity in the air. Like the soft crackle and whiff of ozone before a thunderstorm. The involuntary ekectric shudders are crawling down my spine, reminding me how good it is to live in interesting times.

CEO is panicking; he's talked with me three times so far this morning. His comment on the new red hair was "I was hoping you would keep a low profile." I'm surrounded by so much panic and worry and concern, and those feelings seem almost alien to me right now. I'm in that very special "eye of the storm" mental place where I'm feeling no worry, but I feel about three seconds away from a bout of laughter, even in the rare moments when my conscious mind is unaware of the joke.

I promised Kat I wouldn't break down into laughter on the plane, and I understand why she would probably kill me for that. Kris asked me to "cut out the chaos stuff" for the flight over. I'll try, of course.

Rachel said she has a bad feeling about this trip. Today, I know in my bones that it will be memorable.

Some people think that gods play chess with the world. For me, it feels more like the gods view the world as string puppets, which they shake up while laughing maniacally "Dance, Motherfucker Dance!" That song has been running through my head for about a week now.

Now I've identified this feeling; it's the closest I've ever been to stage fright, the pre-show jitters. The knowledge that very soon I will be on center stage gets to me exactly like this.

If I do take the stage, I hope my Goddess is entertained.
Zzyzxthezzyzx on March 17th, 2003 01:27 pm (UTC)
maybe it's just because I do a lot of random flying for a lot stupider reasons than extremely cheap flights to England, but this trip doesn't have disaster written over it at all for me.

...then again, I'm someone who intentionally flew out on 9/11/02 because I thought I could get cheaper air fare for that night.
St. Sean the Amusedseanb on March 17th, 2003 01:32 pm (UTC)
No, no disaster. Just fun.
I hear a lot of people saying "disaster", but it doesn't feel like disaster to me.
Zzyzxthezzyzx on March 17th, 2003 01:35 pm (UTC)
Yeah I bet it'll be fun. I haven't been to the UK in decades.

...I need to go back there (and to the rest of Europe) sometime. I wish I had done so last year when I had fewer demands on my vacation time.
Lady Doomlithera on March 17th, 2003 02:18 pm (UTC)
I have officially reached my calm place. I freaked out some of yesterday and today. I'm calm now, more excited if anything other than that.
Jim: bushwarpdragon on March 17th, 2003 02:29 pm (UTC)
I completely fail to understand your CEO's concern. You're going to London, not Baghdad, not Tel Aviv, not Ammann. (And people have unnaturally colored hair in England, too.)

I don't see it as having anything interesting aside from the fact that you're going to London. No chaos, no misadventures, nothing beyond the normal hazards of trusting your suitcases to ride in the bottom of the plane.
TW Bruhn: SlantyStyle (Sarcastic)apestyle on March 17th, 2003 03:39 pm (UTC)
For Once...
I'm exactly, precisely, 100% in the same place that you are, Jim. Move over. Yer stepping on my foot.
Turning the Schmaltz up to 11: my beeeeeee!pullthestars on March 17th, 2003 03:42 pm (UTC)
for what it's worth, I'm not feeling anything more than my usual state of near-panic about flying. Nothing along the lines of "The universe is telling me that there is DOOMDOOMDOOM predicted for this trip".

I'm honestly more worried about getting back than the trip over. I can see a potential for terrorist activity that shuts down airports.